Ms. Ribarich's Guidance Website
8 Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Discipline/Self-Control
1. Decide that you really want to be someone who’s self-disciplined, self-controlled, self-reliant. Your desire will motivate you to make good choices. When there’s something you want, you work to get it.
2. Make a personal commitment to develop and strengthen these traits. Write down specific things you’ll do to fulfill your commitment. Examples: “I’m going to start washing my own clothes instead of expecting my parent s to do it.” “Starting tonight, I’m going to save half of the money I earn from babysitting.” Tell someone you trust about your commitment. That person can encourage you to keep your promises to yourself. From time to time, tell him or her about the progress you’re making.
3. Learn the rules that determine what you can and can’t do. Family rules, school rules, society’s rules, laws, the rules of your culture, heritage, traditions, and/or faith – find out what they are and follow them. Do this on your own, with your family, with your class, with your faith community.
4. Be accountable. Accept responsibility for your behavior. Don’t blame others for your actions and decisions.
5. Practice. New character traits don’t form on their own. If you wanted to learn to play hockey, you’d have to practice. At first your skates would refuse to stay beneath your body. With practice, however, you’d slowly gain the skills you need to stand, glide, and control the direction of the puck. Self-discipline is something you can teach yourself. If it’s new to you, start slowly.
6. Do activities that enhance your self-discipline. You might try yoga, walking, rock-climbing, practicing a musical instrument, or whatever else interests you.
7. Eliminate harmful habits. Example: If you spend several hours each week watching violent videos or TV programs, make a conscious decision to spend your time in healthier, more productive ways. You might start by watching different videos or TV programs, then gradually cut back on your TV-watching time.
8. Start a self-discipline support group. Tell a few close friends about your decision to develop and strengthen these character traits and ask if they’d like to join you. Talk together about your plans, dreams, mistakes, frustrations, and hopes for the future. Plan and do activities that strengthen your self-discipline.
Examples of Using Self-Discipline/Self-Control:
- Completing homework before playing video games or watching television.
- Doing household chores without being told or asked to do them by a parent/guardian.
- Following rules within your classroom, at home, on the bus, etc. without being told or reminded to do so.
- Being considerate of everyone’s feelings and never putting anyone down, even if they don’t show you the same respect. (Refer to school bullying rules.)
- Creating a schedule and following it. Ex: when given a long-term assignment in a subject, planning out how much time to spend each day working on it in order to complete it and then following that schedule.
- Establishing and following a routine at home each night in order to be prepared for school. Ex: placing items needed for school near the door and laying out clothes can help avoid being rushed and late for school.
- Not giving into peer pressure
Information obtained from:
Lewis, B. (1998). What Do You Stand For?: A Kids’ Guide To Building Character.
Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing, Inc. (Pages 246-247).
Martenz, A. (2004). Character Building: Classroom Guidance. Warminster, PA:
Mar*Co Products, Inc. (Pages 41-43).
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