WASD Guidance Office
What can you do if you suspect your teen is being harassed?
Start a discussion. Talk with your teen about how things are going at school. Let them lead the discussion. Talk about responsible behavior and online safety.
Let them know that you are always there for them. Remind teens that you're always available to talk. Also encourage teens to talk to the school counselor, a teacher, or even a friend's parent – It is important that they know that they have a trusted adult to talk to.
Empathize. Tell your child that it’s not his or her fault and that you know it’s tough to be a teenager. Share a story of your experiences if it applies and tell him or her that you’re proud of them for telling you.
Stay Calm. Overreacting and getting melodramatic only worsens the situation.
Consider the Developmental Context. The teenage brain is emotional. It is driven towards social rewards and often ignores consequences. It can make teens act impulsively and do mean things for personal and social satisfaction. Recognizing this fact and discussing it with your teen shows them that you understand the social world that they are a part of.
Listen to assess the severity of the situation. Much happens in the social life of a teenager. If your kids talk to you about feeling bullied, listen to them to determine the impact. How bothered are they? How fearful? Are they hurt physically or emotionally? Is their safety in question? Are they deeply offended?
Make a plan, but don’t take over. Brainstorm with your child about what to do. If it’s a small incident, you don’t necessarily have to tell the school. But if it’s affecting your child’s ability to feel safe, then the school should get involved.
Suggest resources. At times, high school students want to deal with these issues on their own. They seek strategies to handle the situation independently. The following websites can be useful resources for students.
- That’s Not Cool provides students with the opportunity to talk out social scenarios and problem-solve. www.thatsnotcool.com
- Bullies to Buddies details a 10 step process to show students “How to Stop being Teased and Bullied without really trying” www.bulliestobuddies.com
- Teen Health offers practical advice on a variety of teen issues. www.teenhealth.com
Report. If the incidents are causing physical or emotional harm, it is important that you or your child report the harassment. You can report to the school counselor, an administrator, or through the use of the online incident report form. Write down everything that has happened so that if you do make a report, you can present objective data rather than an emotional argument.
What can you do to help your teen manage social networks safely?
Help teens set boundaries. Tell teens never to do anything that's outside their comfort zone -- like sharing passwords or sending sexual photos. (It never hurts to reiterate that anything you send electronically can travel far and wide.)
Check your teens' texts, IMs, and facebook page. Be aware of who your kids are talking to, what they're saying, and how they're saying it. If your teens won't share their messages, look at your bill to see the quantity of texts.
Check in with other parents. The parents of your kid's friends may know something you don't.
Have a zero-tolerance policy. No hate speech, no stalkerish behavior, and no sexting.
Teach teens to respect their devices. Explain what responsible ownership and responsible behavior entails.
Teach kids to be upstanders, not bystanders. If teens see their friends getting harassed, they should report it to a teacher, a counselor, or another responsible, trustworthy adult.
Talk about what's private. Kids differ from their parents in their take on what's "private" and what's OK to share. Explain to them the consequences of posting or sending intimate stuff. It can be copied, forwarded, and sent to thousands of kids in an instant.
Resource for Parents
This comprehensive website provides advice for parents on various topics including: cyberbullying, digital technology, digital citizenship, internet safety, social networking and virtual worlds, mobile communication, and family media management. This website even has an iPhone app.
